Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
