I hate your face
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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