yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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