It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
