I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
