well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
