My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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