Quick, to the slutcave!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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