dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
