I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was confusing and full of hummus
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
