I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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