I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We had sex on a dog bed..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
