Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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