Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
