You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
