her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
