Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
