the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
