i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
