I heard we made out
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
