thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
