I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
