Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
