R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
