end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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