If that was your dad, he is hot
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
