she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
