bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
