How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
