If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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