can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
