it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
