so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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