I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
