even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
