Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
