i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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