Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When did we convert life to cartoon?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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