DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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