Pregnant stripper...not hot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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