i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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