Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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