I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
