Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
