I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
