Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
