hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
