I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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