when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
