Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
