White coat. Heels.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
