I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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