oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
