Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
