No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
