it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do herpes really smell.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
